Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Up With The Birds

At times like this she just don't know what to do anymore. Everything, it seemed, was holding her down. The world asked too much from a flawed, weak, and incapable young girl. She just buried her soulless face into a pile of pillows on her bed, trying to shut the world outside even though she knew she was still inside that scary, big, unpredictable place.
She just laid on her bed motionless, too powerless to even drink a glass of water. "This is what I really am," she said to herself wearily.
She was just a girl, nothing more. She was not that superhero she had led everyone to believe. She was not strong enough to just suck it up and carry on. No, she was too weak, far too weak. Her parents, her peers, the school, everyone, wanted 110% from her. Being the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect lover, the perfect human. But what she didn't realize then was that she can't be perfect, because nobody is. Deep down in her heart, she knows this. But she still force herself to do things beyond her reach, killing herself slowly inside, like keeping herself in a toxic bubble.
Saying "It's fine" even though it's bludgeoning her inside.
Saying "I can handle it" even though she knew she's carrying a thousand pounds of responsibility on her back.
Hiding excruciating pain behind a lively smile, clouding the people around her from her true feelings. Being the tough girl, the strong one, the armored human. But armors rust and hers did. She didn't cry, though, she never did. To her, crying won't fix anything. That was true, but crying was better than containing that massive weight in her chest.
Sometimes she wished she could just leave school, leave her family, leave everything and just fly up with the birds, away from the world, away from everything and just fly. She wished a flock of birds would just scoop her up from this earth and bring her up to a place where nothing will pull her down, even gravity.
She turned on her iPod and let the sad yet uplifting music surround her. She closed her eyes and just listened, reliving the lyrics of the song. Never before had the perplexing lyrics from that song seemed like diary entries of her own. She closed her eyes and for a moment then, she was not in this world. She was soaring high up in the sky, high up with the birds.

Listen to Up With The Birds

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