WORST FAMILY IMAGINABLE

If I were to imagine the worst family I could have, my dad would be Sherlock Holmes, my brother Sheldon Cooper, and my mother would be Robin Scherbatsky.
 Every morning I'd wake up to the sound of nails scratching a chalkboard (the sound I despise most) from an alarm clock my dad made. As I wake up I'd find some electrodes glued to my head by my brother to measure my brain waves while I was sleeping. "Sheldooon!!!!!" I'd shriek as I remove those electrodes from my head. I'll find him sitting on "his spot" of the couch while eating his cereal. He'll look at me with disappointment. "Why did you remove my electrodes?" he ask calmly. "It's my head, and STAY AWAY FROM IT," I reply.
"Well, It's my electrodes, and it is worth more than your head," Sheldon said. I groaned, and before I leave to take a shower, I looked at him with mischievous eyes.
"You know, Sheldon? If I were you, I wouldn't be eating that cereal. I dropped my earring inside the box and had no choice but to search inside the box, touching the cereal, and when I couldn't find it, I dumped the cereal on the table and when I found my earring,I put the cereal back in its box," I said. Sheldon gaped at me. "You..you.. touched it?" Sheldon asked in disbelief.
"Yep, every one of'em," I said.
Sheldon started to rinse his mouth with orange juice. "Sheldon, I wouldn't drink from that glass if I were you," I'd say. Sheldon stopped drinking.
"Why?" he asked demandingly.
"I was on kitchen duty yesterday and I can't find the clean rag so I used dad's old shirt," I replied.
I watched with glee as Sheldon's eyes lit up with fury. "Oh, and Sheldon? Don't tell mom or dad or I'll be touching more of your food," I'd say with a wink.
Sheldon just sat there, looking at his contaminated breakfast.
I went up the stairs and found my dad in his study, fixing his watch. "What did you do this time, child?" he asked, his eyes still fixed on the watch.
"Nothing, dad," I'd reply.
"Oh, my dear, from 13 years of experience I believe that you have found it useless to keep things from me," he said. "Do tell me why you touched your brother's food and use my shirt as a rag?" Even though I've been living with him my whole life, I still find it unsettling when he assumed stuff.    My dad's study was made so that no sound can enter the room, yet he knew about my conversation with Sheldon.
"He glued electrodes to my head, dad," I'd say.
"Well, that is awful, but you do realize if you do this to Sheldon he'd become worse? He will try to order food as much as possible and will try to get you back," he said, finally looking up from his watch.
" I know, but-"
"There will be no buts. Doing this to your brother can only make matters worse. I do applaud you for having that brilliant idea to annoy Sheldon, but if things do get out of hand, I might need to.." he smiled mischevously, "do something about it."
I shuddered. Sherlock Holmes must have millions of punishments up his sleeve. The last time I did something like this he had pasted 251 Internet Explorers on the desktop of my laptop.
"Understand?" he asked.
"Yep. I understand," I'd reply as I leave his study.
Holmes also had lots of juicy punishments for Sheldon, like one time, he invited lots of guests to our house to celebrate Sheldon's birthday and Sheldon was forced to socialize. Holmes did outrageous things to annoy his children, like how he pretended to die so that Sheldon and I would pay him more attention.
Well Sherlock Holmes was a curious man, and a more curious father.
I walked down the hallway and found my mother, crouching next to Broady, our labrador. Broady appeared to be unconscious, and I knew the reason why. "Dad?" I asked her, and she nodded.
"He had tried to kill Broady 3 times today,"she said, scratching Broady's ear. My mother was probably the most normal family member, unlike my psychotic father and my abnormal brother. The thing was she hated children that isn't hers. When Sheldon and I were younger, our mom usually refused to pick us up from school, and preferred to wait for us in the car. My earliest memory was that of my mom cowering in a corner when a three year old tried to approach her.
"Dad!" I called. He rushed out from his study and brought some sort of vaccine and he inject our dog. Broady sprang back to life and ran away from Sherlock Holmes as fast as possible. My dad took a sip of embalming fluid. He had this method of sipping bits of poison so that he can become immune to it. "You have to stop doing that," Robin said.
He only chuckled as he walked back to his study.

I like these characters personally, but as family members? Not so much. I really do prefer my own family.

C.L.O.W.N.

CRACKERS AND INTERRUPTED NOTIONS

  3 years had passed, and things have changed in the village called Thornton, although the townspeople can't decide whether it was for the better or the worse. Most citizens didn't even notice it. In a modest cottage in the suburbs of Thornton, Quinton Kingsleigh and Ivy Azure were discussing that very issue while they were eating their afternoon snack, blue cheese and saltwater crackers. The two had just met at the beginning of the school year, yet they have treated each other as close friends and had enjoyed each other's company very much.

    The two had discussed that very issue at a great length before, and now had found it boring. Ivy was watching Quinton eating blue cheese with disgust and amusement. Ivy had always thought blue cheese inedible, and Quinton (who quite liked the taste) tried to convince Ivy to at least take a bite. "Oh, come on Ivy," Quin had said. "How can you know you don't like it if you don't even want to try it?" he asked, flashing his signature lop-sided smile at Ivy as he tried to make the blue cheese look as appetizing as he could. Ivy raised her eyebrow and giggled. "Quin, I really can't digest that," Ivy said. Quin finally gave up and he ran his hand through his rumpled flaxen-blond hair. Quin was 13 (14 by the end of the week), and was quite popular in his school. Quin had an athletic body, and he was the star-player in his school's wedgehog team (wedgehog was similar to basketball but more ancient). Many girls in his school adored him(he was thought to be good looking), many boys wanted to be him, but he was often found alone contemplating things that others had missed. Quin had a rare gift of figuring things out by himself. In other words, he's clever. In fact, Quin was the smartest in his school and undoubtedly smarter than most adults. Many thought that Quin liked being alone, but the truth was no one would join him.
  That was until Ivy Azure came.She was 13 years old, with copper red hair (which she often tied back into a ponytail), a tan complexion, and (her most recognizable feature) sparkling emerald green eyes. Ivy used to be home schooled and taught by Yuri Gotchski ( a famous tutor), until a couple of months ago when she was transferred to Quin's school, The Berkenz Academy. Quin found Ivy interesting, for Ivy was not the lovely, fragile, pixie-like girl she appeared to be. Ivy mastered many art  of self defense known to man at that time, and had unbelievable physical strength and abilities. This Ivy had never told Quin before, but Quin had figured that out. Ivy preferred to keep things to herself, but with Quin, it's impossible. Quin found out that Ivy was taught self defense by her father, Desmond Azure, who was a former conman. Quin had figured Ivy's dad was a conman right when he met him.
   Desmond had just went home from his new job as a lawyer, and Ivy had asked how it had went. Desmond had grunted and said that he liked his old job better, when the adrenaline had caused him to use his brain better. Desmond's cautiousness (he had a habit of locking things securely and leaving no trace of himself wherever he went) and Ivy's confession that her dad's old job worried her had supported Quin's inference. Desmond was about 35 years old and had been living with his daughter and wife. For his family's sake he had quit his "job" and found a decent one.Quin had asked Ivy about her dad's "occupation", and she had sighed and said "That's why I don't bother telling you stuff Quin, you'd figure it out in split seconds."
  Desmond had taught Ivy the art of self defense, despite her mother's disapproval.  Ivy's physical strength and abilities were pure talent, though. Quin had assumed that Ivy was trained in 125 ways to hurt people (in spite of protecting herself, that is), and Quin was rarely wrong. Despite her abilities, Ivy was proven to be a friendly, good natured girl and won't cause unrepairable harm to anybody. Ivy was quite logical and curious about many things, and she couldn't ask for a better company than Quin. They can always find interesting things to talk about, and that day, after the two had discussed the changes in Thornton, Quin had thought of something that had been on the back of his mind for quite sometime.
  "Speaking of changes, I heard that the downtown theater is closing down," Quin said, locking his sky blue eyes with Ivy's.
"Yeah, I heard about that too from Gertrude, that woman who sells milk," Ivy replied, munching her share of saltwater crackers.
"It's a shame, I had a friend there once. He was an entertainer, performing magic tricks every weekends. He goes by the name Zappidy Doodle on stage," Quin watched Ivy's amused expression at the mention of the silly name. "Off stage he was better known as Charlie Browning."
" I've never heard of him. What happened then?" Ivy asked, genuinely curious.
So Quin eagerly told her about Charlie's sudden disappearance. Charlie and Lucy have disappeared six months after Lucy's pregnancy.
Ivy thought to herself for a moment. "Dead relatives can cause people to go and visit the family, which will look as if they disappeared suddenly," Ivy said then she shrugged.
"Very unlikely. I doubt that Charlie and Lucy have any relatives. Even during the celebration of Lucy's pregnancy, only the townspeople came. No trace of relatives," Quin said, rubbing his chin (an old habit of his). Quin began thinking to himself, muttering things.
"Um, Quin? Not to interrupt you, but we need to get going," Ivy said, pointing to the orange-colored sky outside the window.
"Hm? Oh, okay then," Quin replied as he stood up and brushed the cracker crumbs off his shirt. The cottage was neither Quin or Ivy's home. The cottage was a gift from Jacques Pepperfield, Quin's old friend. Jacques and his family had moved to the mainland and can't seem to sell the cottage at a good price. So, as a farewell gift to the Kingsleigh family,the Pepperfields had given the cottage to the Kingsleigh. Mr and Mrs Kingsleigh didn't know what to do with the cottage, and they had given Quin the right to do anything with it. Quin had never set foot on the cottage until Ivy came, though. They had found it as a suitable place to gather, with a fireplace, nice oak furniture, and cabinets which the two had used to store food incase they got hungry. The two had promised their parents that they will be back before nightfall, and Ivy and Quin knew that it won't be good to disobey their parents (although they both could easily outsmart them).
 Quin, rubbing his eyes out of fatigue had risen from his seat and put the chairs back to its place. Quin was extremely tired (last night he could barely sleep because of the street cats "singing", and this morning he needed to run lots of errands).
Ivy cheerily skipped to the front yard where her white horse, Artemis, had been tied to the fence. She was about to climb up the saddle when Quin looked at her disappointedly. Ivy, who had already climbed up the saddle nudged Quin with her knee. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked.
"I thought I'm supposed to ride Artemis. You rode him the way here and I had to sit on the back, and trust me, that was quite embarassing. People were staring at me, wondering why the girl had to ride," Quin said.
"Oh, so now you're saying that men are far more superior than women?" Ivy asked pointedly.
Quin only shrugged, and they both laughed. Ivy did let Quin ride this time, and Ivy wrapped her arms tightly around Quin's stomach as she muttered, "Quin, please don't kill us both."

C.L.O.W.N.

EPILOGUE

   Once, a long time ago in a town called Thornton, lived a young man named Charlie Browning. Charlie was a marvelous magician, entertaining people in an average theater downtown. Every weekends he would entertain people (mostly kids) in the theater, pulling rabbits out of hats and whatnot. He loved to watch the glee in people he entertained, especially children. The smiles upon the children's faces were one of the many things that Charlie loved. The one Charlie loved most was none other than his wife, Lucy Browning (whom he loved more than life itself). 

  Charlie lived a life that knew no sorrow. His salary enabled him to afford a nice home and live comfortably with the person he loved most, but he always felt like something was missing. Charlie soon found out what was missing, and the answer was children. He had always been fond of children, that one day he and Lucy decided that they should have a baby. Lucy did eventually. Charlie and Lucy were thrilled, and they have prepared a nursery for their child to be. 6 months had passed, and one day Lucy felt an excruciating pain in her stomach. Charlie took her to a witch doctor . The witch doctor told them that Lucy can't bear a child in her womb, and made them choose which one do they want to keep alive, Lucy or the baby. Charlie insisted that Lucy should live, but Lucy couldn't bear the thought of losing her own child. The couple argued for a very long time, until eventually Charlie won the argument. The witch doctor gave Lucy an elixir that will make the heart of the baby consume it's body until it ceased to exist (the witch doctor didn't tell the newly-wedded couple that, for it will most likely horrify them). With her eyes brimming with tears, Lucy reluctantly drank the elixir. Lucy swallowed the liquid, and suddenly Lucy felt a searing pain inside her stomach. 

    Then, a flash of events happened all at once. Lucy screamed at the top of her lungs. The witch doctor drew back in surprise and knocked down a shelf full of bottles. Charlie leaped to his wife, desperately trying to help her. 

   Ever so suddenly the room fell silent, and Lucy fell into Charlie's ready arms, unconscious. Charlie realized the horrifying truth . Not only did the screaming stopped, but  Lucy's heartbeat had stopped as well. Charlie cradled his dead wife, unsure what had gone wrong. He cradled his dead wife, desperately trying to avoid the truth; that she was gone. "Lucy," Charlie called softly. "Lucy please don't go.." he cried. Still cradling Lucy in his arms, Charlie looked up to the witch doctor pleadingly, hoping that he might know how to bring Lucy back to life, or at least tell him what had gone wrong. The witch doctor just shook his head with sympathy . He knew what Charlie didn't. The elixir didn't only made the heart of the baby consume its flesh; it consumed Lucy's heart as well.